Stop This Train...

As many of you may already know, I'm a hospice chaplain. I care spiritually for the terminally ill. I see patients, young and old, who are aware of their lives coming to an end. I speak to them on terms of connecting with God and themselves in ways, more frequently than not, they've not thought about before. I ask them to consider where God's taken them through their lives up to this point, from birth until now. We read scripture verses, we talk about the significance of their current circumstances, we reflect on what truly matters to them at this stage in their lives. We pray deeply, asking God to help them connect the dots of the memorable moments they've had so they can seemingly make sense of where He's taken them.

Over the last several weeks and months I've reflected on why I've taken on such a role as a hospice chaplain. I've had lots of conversations with friends who wonder how I do what I do. Somewhere along the way I've collected an understanding of my past. I experienced from early teen years to now many deaths, both family and friends. Each one impacted me deeply. Each death provoked me to want to live more meaningfully and with more passion than before. As a result I've done and experienced wonderful things, with no regrets.

But, most recently, I've found myself realizing once again, I want to slow down. I still want to live meaningfully and passionately, but I want to slow down enough to connect more deeply with friends and family, so my relationships, not just my experiences, are filled with meaning and passion.

One of my patients who I connected with pretty deeply died yesterday. I spoke with the patient's spouse yesterday morning and I made arrangements to visit the patient this morning since yesterday I was on a different route, but would be in the patient's area today. When I arrived at the patient's home and was informed by a neighbor that the patient had died, I was very disappointed in myself.

Obviously the relationship between my patients and friends and family are different, but I've come to appreciate the need to make the moments I'm together with those I care about more meaningful...not to take any moment for granted any longer.

I realize I'm probably overstating such a desire, but what's life for if not to deepen the relationships that God's placed in my life? To make each moment count, whether it be quietly watching a sunset with my wife, or loudly enjoying a football game with my friends...and not allowing either of those moments to slip away with no meaning.

If you get a moment, take a listen to John Mayer's tune "Stop This Train." A friend of mine, Danny, turned me onto it with a video he posted on Facebook. The video was all about connecting with friends. The song is bound to ruin you in a good way. Pretty sure we can all use a little ruining like this.